Leaves are the only things that fall in Autumn

What is a blog anyway? How does this posting differ from anything that I write in my journal before I go to sleep? I think for one, those things in my journal I know are going to be read by my progeny someday and there I'm not biased at all as to what I write. I'm going to make sure to include every mishap that I have, the petty things that irritate me and make me ornery. Yes. I think these are the things that my children and their children would love to know about their 22 year old father and grandfather who is trying to make a name for himself. Who wouldn't? If you weren't able to sense the sarcasm in what I just wrote, I suggest you move to Russia where there isn't such a thing as sarcasm. I could honestly say that my intentions aren't to write about the things that I like and enjoy, but rather, I would like to write about the thoughts that I've had as I've had as I've walked to and from school, as I've prepared for my marathon or maybe even as I've laid in bed late at night trying to fall asleep. I want to write about the "ins and outs" of my mind, my life, my existence. So if you don't want to read about these types of things, please, fall asleep on a raft in the river and tell me where you wake up!

While walking along 700 East to the smell of watered dirt-the result of an afternoon rain shower, I glassed over a girl running along the side of road, trying to decide whether or not she should stop and wait for the cars to drive by, or if she should just dash straight on into the intersection. She did neither. She merely paused so that she could be seen by the Californian drivers and then ran across the street. She was wearing headphones, bright pink shorts and seemed to be out of breath. Seeing her reminded me of a girl that I recently broke up with....and by saying "recently" I mean almost two weeks ago. Our breakup wasn't planned and I think that we would still be dating if a cousin hadn't asked the wrong questions at the wrong time. Might I interrupt and quickly add that girls like drama. Maybe that's why they faithfully watch every show that airs on ABC, and luckily this cousin so happened to be the director for that network. I don't want to go into all of the details of our breakup, but I can say simply that this cousin (whether she really cared or not I don't know) asked if I had become a little stand-offish. IN hindsight I admit that I was, but to no fault of my own. I had had doubts about what I was going to do once Santa Claus had made his way back to the North Pole and I was on my way to Jerusalem for a study abroad program. Not only were my thoughts processing in my mind, but they were also being conveyed through my body language. This is what was noticed by mydear old director friend. A long story even longer, I was confronted with a question as to why I hadn't included Helga (for thus shall I call her) on various things and asked if I could join her on her private excursions. With a little prying and honesty, I let out that I was not in the relationship to the same level as Helga- this her biggest fear in getting into a relationship. Did I care for her? Of course. Did I want to only make her happy? Naturally. Was I ready to take the relationship to another level? Only if that level was DOWN and not UP. I was honest, and my honesty caused her tears...but I'm glad that those tears didn't come from me breaking her trust and getting together with someone else. --------This was all the result of that girl in pink, the same one that made her way irrationally onto the street with her little pink running shorts. So what now? I ask myself the same question. Do I try to step up my game and get together with another girl or do I sit and wait for another "fish in the sea" to come swimming along? Should I change my relationship status on Facebook or do I simply go on the dating market a free man and enjoy the semester, living for the moment? Those questions I'm not ready to answer, but at least I have my studies also known as my scapegoat. Yes, I'm content with the way things are right now. I'm content with going to my church activities and getting know ward members. This is good and I'm happy. As the pirates of old used to say, "Yo ho, Yo ho, a single life for me." Arrrrr